Not a Fighter
by MystiklSushi
Summary: After the fights with Gama, Touya, and Bakken, Kurama contemplates the new turn his life has taken since his Youko days. Slight humor. Oneshot.


Another oneshot. Kurama-centric with bits of Hiei sprinkled in for good measure. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, which is what makes this fan fiction. I'm also leaving the country soon, so good luck finding me to sue me... wink

* * *

_I am not a fighter. _

In fact, I never expected to be. I trained myself to do the opposite in fact. Thieves don't typically fight after all.

They specialize in fleeing.

A bad thief is one who is caught, who must fight their way through guards because they were detected. If you're good, then stealth is really the key.

I was a good thief.

Legendary, in fact.

Which is probably **exactly** how I landed myself in this situation.

I could feel Hiei's gaze burning holes in my flesh even with my eyes closed. I knew without looking what he was thinking.

"Idiot."

He confirmed my assumptions. Either he's too predictable, or he's exactly right. I don't like the thought of either.

"I _did_ win two fights…" I knew the justification wouldn't pass. Still, the need to excuse the desperate measures I had taken during the latest round of the tournament had seemed almost reasonable at the time.

"Hn. That little stunt you pulled cost us a match afterwards, and nearly got us disqualified, Fox." He fingered the end of one of the twigs protruding from my arms. He hadn't mentioned the part where I'd very near killed myself, and then was nearly killed by the next fighter before Yusuke had tried to jump in. I had the distinct feeling he was being charitable for not directly mentioning it.

I didn't need a medic to tell me what major damage I'd done to my arteries and internal organs, though having a medic on hand to help with the bleeding would have been nice. Although I could probably muster the strength to retract the limbs of the death tree, bleeding to death didn't sound like a pleasant way to go.

Besides, Hiei was watching me like a hawk to make sure I didn't do anything else stupid.

"I thought I handled it well, considering." Considering that I'm not technically a fighter. Considering that the weapons I usually rely on originally had a _much_ different purpose. The rose whip for example, in the hands of my Youko form, had a much more 'interesting' use than hacking youkai to bits. I shook my head slightly to clear those thoughts.

Hiei simply snorted. Apparently, he didn't agree.

"If this is what comes of 'handling it well' then you should have been stuck in that tent instead of me."

I raised myself slightly on my elbows, intent on making a point, sprawled on an examination table or not. Of course, with Gama's makeup weighing me down physically, the vines currently making residence throughout my bloodstream, and the diminutive youkai's hand pressing down on my shoulder, I didn't stay up for long.

Or get to make my point, for that matter.

In fact, I think I proved one of his.

Crap.

"You're going to make it worse."

I resisted the strong temptation to pout, managing to scowl with righteous indignation instead. Hiei just 'hn-ed' and moved back to perch on the bedside chair so that he could keep an eye on me.

I missed the days where things were simpler. Thieving didn't require the kind of reckless things I'd found myself doing ever since meeting up with Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara. Since then, I've been stabbed, sliced, beaten, threatened, nearly had my soul sucked out by a mirror, and now found myself with vines where most of the major blood vessels/organs should probably be. Obviously, making friends has caused me to lose my mind.

Or bring out repressed suicidal tendencies.

Which would mean I was already insane, and it was just getting worse the more I got to know my teammates. Joy.

I hadn't set out on this fight with the idea that I wanted to die, anyway. Things just went difficult when I couldn't move my arms. Or my legs. Or use youki. Using my body as a vessel for my plants was probably the reason I wasn't lying here in the infirmary with a gaping wound from an ice-sword going through my chest (Which would have been ironic, considering the analogy I've found myself using recently to describe my heart…being plunged through with an "ice-knife" would have been worse than the mess I've gotten myself into. At least with a body full of plants I miss being killed off by figurative language).

In any case, my intentions had been to take out as many ninja as I could manage before Yusuke jumped in and went irresponsibly using his rei gun on everything in sight. The best part is that it almost worked, had it not been for the underhanded calling by the committee, or the part where Kuwabara surprised us all by winning the whole round for our team. And who could have foreseen the incident with Bakken?

Not everything went according to plan.

So I'm here, under all three of Hiei's watchful eyes.

Its times like this that make me really yearn for my old body. Shame I won't ever get to use it again.

* * *

Whew! Possibly my longest oneshot yet...and yes, that really was a small attempt at humor in there (kinda shocking for me).

Please review, because it makes me happy to know that people are reading.


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